Looking through old pictures last night I came across some with a friend of mine that committed suicide a few months ago. I guess I can't really call us friends seeing as we have barely talked since freshman year of high school. We were on the same soccer team in late elementary school and middle school. We went to school together for 6 years. I wouldn't say we were "close", but I liked her, and we were good friends playing soccer together. I guess as we got older and didn't have classes together we sort of lost touch.
Looking back on pictures of us just made me think so much about how so quickly our lives can end. Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to her. Death is something so curious to me. I suppose it's fairly simple: your born, you live, you die and you go somewhere else.
I wish I knew whether my friend is in Heaven or not, I wish I knew if a lot of people were in Heaven... but I suppose I'll find out someday. I guess I'd like to hope that they are. I'd like to hope that people I know and love will go to Heaven someday. There's just no way to be certain until I am there, standing at the pearly gates on a street paved in gold, being judged by Lord. I pray for their souls, along with praying for my own. We are so... disgusting.... us humans. God is so perfect and genuine and everything good... and we are so...NOT. What grace He has, truly. And without grace, I don't even want to imagine what life would be like, or even more importantly, life after death.
I guess I'm just kind of rambling on about stuff on my mind. Nothing really significant, just thoughts.
All I've got to say is this... the Lord is good, and I am remarkably blessed. PTL!
LJ
Thoughtful, yet I think we have to give "humans" a break. Remember that God made us and he may dislike our actions and sins yet he forgives us and loves us no matter what our faults are. Being a father myself, I know how he feels, as I would love my children no matter what, even if I didn't agree with their actions. I am thankful that I have not had the difficulties that other parents have gone through and the worst I can imagine would be the death of my child, especially through taking their own life. The utter despair that I know would lead to that desperation of action would haunt me and I would always wonder what I could have done to prevent such an act. Unfortunately, "heaven" is the closest we can get to the Lord and taking one's own life is the furthest we can get from him. By not believing in his guidance of their lives they reject his chosen path for them. The saddest part is that they take away everything that they could have been and everything they could have done in the world. Remember that He has a perfect plan for all of us and only our free will can change the direction of that plan. I believe that we can follow his path if we pause when we make decisions in our lives and think "what does my Lord want for me", rather than "what do I want"?
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