New Blog

I decided that since I had started a new year, I am at a new school, and since I feel like a different person, growing every single day, that I should start a new blog to coincide with this new life.

Please follow it- http://greatstormsbrightrainbows.blogspot.com/

I probably will not be using this blog anymore.

Thanks :)

Joplin.

What a long, sobering day it was. I don't think I have ever seen so much devastation, yet so much hope. It has been 9 months since the 3 minute and 14 second tornado swept away buildings, houses, and lives. The amount of debris was completely overwhelming; to be inside of the middle school and see sheet music, ruined books, clothes, ventilation systems, wires, shattered windows and floors, desks missing drawers... everything... and then drive 6 miles away to the other side of town and see the hospital... with it's shattered windows, broken buildings, entire floors destroyed, sheets hanging out of the windows, etc. completely on opposites ends of town, yet both completely destroyed; to see the high school with absolutely nothing but ruins and debris; to hear the stories of people who lived through the tornado, who survived the eye... it was all so very, overwhelming. The stories were incredible, but not nearly as incredible as the people; people who risked their own lives to protect their loved ones; people who had to see people dead, and people dying, right in front of them; people who saved lives. I just can't even come up with the words to describe the experience I had in Joplin. Though we were only there for 9 hours or so, those 9 hours were so packed with life changing experiences.
I honestly don't know what to say about it.... it was just... wow. I think we all walked away knowing that, at any moment, 3 minutes and 14 seconds can change thousands of lives, forever. We learned to live for the moment and to never forget that our lives can be taken away at any moment. We learned that home isn't about a house, or what you have... it's about being with the people you love.
The Lord blessed Joplin, really. Although they were in the midst of devastation, God saved hundreds and hundreds of lives through timing. All of the hundreds and hundreds of people were at the high school graduation at the college, rather than the high school... for the first time ever. If they had been at the high school like originally planned, they all would have died. There were so many others ways that God made the timing bless Joplin... but what was incredible to me was seeing the HUGE cross, still standing where the church was not. Surrounded originally by debris, and now by nothing, this (what, 30 ft tall?) cross was standing strong. The Lord's hands were protecting Joplin, keeping so many people alive who may not have been had the tornado been an hour earlier or an hour later.

I am truly stunned by everything that happened yesterday. I have absolutely no words to describe it, but I can say that I am so very thankful to have had that experience, and even more grateful to have been able to help out down there.

Thank you to Chris Moreno and Dianne Lynch for helping me make the trip happen. It was life changing. Since I can't find the words to talk about Joplin, here are photos; after all, a photo is worth 1,000 words, right?

The Rainbow Bridge

What a hard week this has been... and it's only Tuesday.

The Bible talks about Ebenezers, and the word literally means "stone of help". It is referred to as a place of worship, a place that reminds us of God's Holy presence and help. I think that most would agree with me when I say that Ebenezer the donkey was definitely a "stone of help". 

I remember the first time I heard about Ebe. It was 2009 and he was published in a newspaper article or on the news or something of that sort, and Nino and Nina decided they wanted to help this little guy raise funds for veterinary bills. Over the course of a few months in which Ebe was in an equine clinic, Nino and Nina spent countless hours with Randy and Shirley and Ebe's other caretakers, building him a new barn, fencing his land, and getting it all ready for his homecoming. When Ebe was finally able to come home, there are no words to explain how happy he must have been to see his new, spacious barn, and how frustrated he was that he couldn't go outside when it was wet or roam all of his land anymore. His ornery attitude came out and he popped his head out of the chicken window of his barn in frustration... but it sure was a cute sight :)

I remember the first time I met Ebenezer. I couldn't believe how bright and full his personality was. Even though he couldn't speak English, anyone would agree that Ebe talked through his eyes. You just knew what he was feeling, what he wanted to say to you. It's almost strange how well he connected with humans. In one sense, he had a very old soul, but at the same time he was still a child, ornery and playful. 

Oh and the first time I heard him bray and saw him run! What a funny thing. But I absolutely adored it. It completely made my day, and I'll never forget it. 

I love his soft fur, his big eyes, his funny run, his big ears, his George Washington teeth, his short legs, the cross on his back, his leg warmers, his head-butt that could literally knock you off your feet, his silly grunts, his protectiveness of his food, his love for animal crackers, his floppy tail.... his beautiful soul. 

Ebe would listen to anything you had to say, no judgement. He was an inspiration to people simply by the fact that he was a 33 year old donkey living off Main Street in Grandview.  Something about his personality just sucked you in.... made you love him forever.

Ebenezer brought an entire community together. The big guy has almost 450 friends on Facebook! And I'm sure there are many people out there who don't even know he has a Facebook that would want to be his friend! It is amazing to read all of the wall posts he gets... people who knew him when they were children, people who drive by his barn every day, people who absolutely adore him and love him. I don't know how anyone could not love him. Even people who haven't met him in person love him, because he is an inspiration. He lived through over 3 decades of harsh Missouri weather, making friends with deer and hating raccoons. Nino told me he once went out to Ebe's to let him out in the morning, and when he arrived there were deer just feet away from the barn, watching over Ebe, keeping him safe. I also heard that the night of his passing, deer surrounded his barn to say goodbye, even with the humans there.

I honestly think he kind of saved my family. We had just lost our dog and cat, and we were all so broken and upset, and then all of a sudden I hear we now have a pet donkey! He mended our broken hearts and filled our voids with love. I don't know what we would have done if it weren't for him. 

He has changed so many people's lives and I believe that even after his death he will continue to do so.

He was euthanized late Sunday night. At the time, I was driving back to Columbia and all I could do was cry. I am so happy for him, that he was able to escape the pain and suffering he had endured for so long now, but I know that he will miss all of us just as much as we miss him. It is comforting to know that he is watching us from over the Rainbow Bridge. 

Ebenezer's death has affected me even more than I thought it would. What he meant to so many people, and what he meant to me- that's what is so upsetting. I'm so happy for him to be pain free and roam never-ending pastures, but he will be so greatly missed. 

To add to that, today I lost my beautiful dog, Missy (aka Doodlebug). It is good to know that Ebe was waiting for her to greet her and show her the ropes. I'm sure they're getting along great... they're both the same- stubborn, ornery, sweet, and extremely lovable. I have lost so many incredible pets in my life... Elliott was the first, (I also had a few hamsters and fish, as well as a not-so-nice cat named Lizzy), then Popeye, then Ally Boy, then Darcy, and now Ebe and Doodlebug.

Missy was such a sweet soul. When we first got her, my dad had been driving on Todd George in LS, it was pouring down rain (the phrase "it's raining cats and dogs" really applies here), there were quite a few cars stopped to get the attention of this soaking wet Shih Tzu, but as soon as my dad stepped out of the car and began to demand her attention, she ignored everyone else and ran right up to him. After no responses from shelters, she was our's forever. She had clearly had a tough life, probably being used for breeding and being dumped when she wasn't producing big litters anymore. She also suffered quite a lot of health problems, including cataracts, eye infections, multiple abdominal tumors (and surgeries), and cancer. She was so tough, and so undeniably sweet. She almost never barked unless we left her outside too long, she would always greet us when we got home with a wagging tail and utter joy. She was a complete princess (and I'm sure is now in Heaven too!), and she wanted everyone to know :) She listened to me sing, cry, yell, and ramble on... and she never judged or left, she always just stayed right there with me and listened. The pets that I have been blessed with have all had such an amazing love for us, and it always warmed my heart when they would come up and lay with me when I was sick. Missy always did that. She would stay with me all day long when I was sick, taking care of me. I loved watching her run up and down the fence with the nieghbors' dogs; she was always so funny about it. She always wanted to be faster than them, but she was always the smallest. She still made it known that she was the best, no matter what!

She was my baby. Sissy's girl... that's what I always called her. 

No pet can ever be replaced. They each have their own undying spirit and personality, and sometimes I think they have better personalities than many humans. I have no doubt that they have gone to Heaven. God loves all of His creatures, and they are so pure, sweet, kind and loving, dependent but free spirited too. I'll see them again someday, I know I will. People can say that they won't go to Heaven, but I know better. They love you unconditionally, just like God. They forgive you when you leave them at home all day and ignore them, they take care of you when you're sad or sick, they give you joy when you are desperately unhappy, they remain loyal to you... forever. 

I'm going to miss Ebe and Doodlebug so much.... just like all of the other amazing pets I've lost. But I am happy knowing that they are finally out of pain; they were both suffering so badly for so long. I know they're having fun, running around with all of the other animals, chasing each other and getting an abundance of treats. I love them, and I look forward to the day that I see them again.

There are a few songs that have been helping me get through this... "Better is One Day" "Praise You in This Storm"... and "Safe and Sound" (by Taylor Swift). I am singing it to them.... to comfort them, so they know it's okay to leave me. The lyrics... "Hold on to this lullaby, even when the music is gone... Just close your eyes, the sun is going down; you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now; Come morning light, you and I will be safe and sound."

Rest In Peace my sweet friends, my family. I love you and miss you.

...Until we meet again...

LJ

PS. I didn't include pictures of Popeye or Elliott because I don't have any on my computer, unfortunately. Sorry. (top one- Missy, Ebe, Darcy, and Ally Boy)

It's Been A While.

Well, it has been quite some time since my last blog post, huh?
There is so much to say, so much to talk about!!

Some of you may or may not know, but I have decided to transfer to Columbia College, (Yes, it's only 2000 feet away from Stephens!). My senior year of high school I had the privilege of working in the LifeSkills room at LSHS, and that was one of the most life changing experiences I have ever had. It was the highlight of my day, everyday. Sure, some days were hard and frustrating, but the rewards were... incredible. To see when students would have good days or even have breakthroughs on something were some of the most inspiring, amazing moments of my life. I love the students in that room, and I do think that some of them love me. I enjoyed spending time with the Paras and teachers, and they were so inspirational to me. It was unbelievably emotional for me to say goodbye to all of them at the end of the year, and I couldn't even contain my tears. I cried giving hugs, I cried saying goodbye, and I cried when I got home after. I knew that it was something that I truly loved and enjoyed, but I had already made up my mind that I was going to go to Stephens for filmmaking.
Over Thanksgiving break last semester, I had really been wondering if film was what I really wanted to do with my life, and I just kept praying to God that He show me a sign of what I was supposed to do. I had planned to go back and see the students in the LifeSkills room, but I was so scared that some of them wouldn't remember me, which was definitely a possibility. When I got there, the students that I had expected to not remember me totally did, and it was so great to hug them again and talk with them and just see smiles! I knew, at that moment, that I wanted to do that for the rest of my life, and I knew that that was the sign I was looking for.
When I came back to Stephens, I decided I was going to start taking education classes here. They offer certification in Elementary and Early Childhood education. I knew that I didn't want to be an elementary school teacher or work in early childhood care, but I figured that was the closest I would get. After talking with professors from SC, Coach Twenter (who is one of the head teachers of the LifeSkills room), a woman who hires for Columbia Public Schools (who actually went to Stephens), my family, my friends, and anyone else I could talk to, I was really sure that Columbia College was going to be the best school for me to go to in order to do what I really wanted.
I began looking into it, but I really wasn't sure if I was ready to transfer to another school. I have now met with some really awesome education professors from CC, I've met with admissions and financial aid, I've toured the campus multiple times, I've met with the XC coach, and I've made some good friends in administration, which has led me to the decision to transfer. They have offered me a complete full ride, and the facilities are AMAZING. The school is so nice and beautiful and all of the professors and coaches have such a passion for what they do, and I was genuinely impressed by EVERYTHING. I literally could not find a SINGLE thing that I did not love about the school. It's perfect for me.

It's been a really hard decision, and it's taken me a long time to come to terms with it, but I can say now that I am so happy about my decision, and I'm very excited to get started on building my future. I couldn't be happier, and I have really felt that God is guiding me in this decision, and I know that I've chosen correctly. I am so excited to see God's plan for me, and I'm so glad that I've finally been able to really come to terms with what God wants for me and what I want for myself. This experience has made me so much closer in my relationship with God; relying on Him, trusting Him, having constant conversations with Him, seeing Him in everything I do and everywhere I go, and just finally being able to accept that God's plan for me isn't always clear, and I am going to have to try different things throughout my life to really see where He is guiding me. It's been a true blessing to go through all of this, even if it was hard and emotional. I am so thankful that my friends and family have been so supportive (I don't know what I would do without you guys!), and I look forward to what is to come!

But first... I have to finish off this year :) It has been so busy and stressful, but I know I'll be okay. After all, one of my favorite sayings is, "When life gets too hard to stand... KNEEL." AMEN.

I hope all is well with everyone, and I hope everyone enjoyed last week's beautiful weather here in Missouri! Not looking so pretty right now (it's snowing :-/  ) but hey, it could definitely be a lot worse!

In the wise words of Ellen Degeneres... Be kind to each other :)