Looking through old pictures last night I came across some with a friend of mine that committed suicide a few months ago. I guess I can't really call us friends seeing as we have barely talked since freshman year of high school. We were on the same soccer team in late elementary school and middle school. We went to school together for 6 years. I wouldn't say we were "close", but I liked her, and we were good friends playing soccer together. I guess as we got older and didn't have classes together we sort of lost touch.
Looking back on pictures of us just made me think so much about how so quickly our lives can end. Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to her. Death is something so curious to me. I suppose it's fairly simple: your born, you live, you die and you go somewhere else.
I wish I knew whether my friend is in Heaven or not, I wish I knew if a lot of people were in Heaven... but I suppose I'll find out someday. I guess I'd like to hope that they are. I'd like to hope that people I know and love will go to Heaven someday. There's just no way to be certain until I am there, standing at the pearly gates on a street paved in gold, being judged by Lord. I pray for their souls, along with praying for my own. We are so... disgusting.... us humans. God is so perfect and genuine and everything good... and we are so...NOT. What grace He has, truly. And without grace, I don't even want to imagine what life would be like, or even more importantly, life after death.
I guess I'm just kind of rambling on about stuff on my mind. Nothing really significant, just thoughts.
All I've got to say is this... the Lord is good, and I am remarkably blessed. PTL!
LJ
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Blessings in Disguise
So this weekend I just saw God in my life majorly, even if it may have been things that reminded me of the song "This is the Stuff" by Francesca Batistelli (if you don't know it, here's the chorus- "this is the stuff that drives me crazy, this is the stuff that's getting to me lately, in the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed. This is the stuff that gets under my skin, but I've gotta trust you know exactly what you're doing, might not be what I would choose but this is the stuff you use.")
After my great meet on Saturday in St. Louis (so thankful to have so many family and friends cheering us on!) Dad, Neenee, Nino, and Nina all came to Stephens and we had lunch at the Heidelberg (yummy!) and then they came up to my dorm room and my dad fixed my foot rest and the squeak in my bed (thank goodness!) and Neenee left me a cute little note on my dry erase board, and it was all just great! Well, as they were leaving, Neenee said "you sure you don't wanna come home?" just joking around (and they were literally driving away at this point), and then I realized I could! I called them back immediately and had them come back for me! Kramer had gone home this weekend and I knew I could get a ride with her back, so I figured, hey why not! So I got to go home and surprise Jordan, which was truly great because he is the hardest person to surprise! It was great to spend time with him and to go to NRBC and see the Andrews family as well. The sermon today really spoke to me and I really enjoyed it and I was just having a great day and weekend!
Then Kramer and I left her house at about 6:45, and we were surprised how quickly it got dark! By 7:30 it was literally PITCH BLACK outside, whether that was from the clouds or if there was a new moon I do not know; however, it was kind of scary. Then, as we are driving it begins sprinkling a little bit, but there is sawdust on Kramer's windshield so when she used the windshield wipers it was even harder to see than before! We stopped in Booneville at a Pilot gas station and cleaned her windshield (and used the bathroom!). She was very thankful that I was with her because it was very scary with not only the darkness in driving, but her windshield as well as stopping at a large gas station on 70 hwy. She called me coming home a blessing in disguise, but I don't think there was really much disguise on that one! It was all just blessing! :)
Well, we get back to school and we are unpacking and I realize that I have forgotten my running shoes at home. HOW FRUSTRATING!!! I knew there was no way I could have them by practice tomorrow even if we tried to overnight them, so I knew it was inevitable that I was going to have to buy new shoes. I called Dad and told him and was just so frustrated with myself and angry and just very bitter, but then I came to realize that just last week I had mentioned the possibility of getting new running shoes. I haven't been keeping a running log, but I figured it was probably getting close to time. I had planned on doing it sometime after my birthday in three weeks. But as I was thinking about it, though I've only had the shoes for a few months, I realized that not only had I probably put in a good 300-350 miles on them running, but I also walk in them many days of the week and I wore them almost every day of the summertime once I got them (including every day on the mission trip, which was a LOT of walking and standing and running). So, despite how frustrated I was in leaving my shoes at home, I realized it was a blessing in disguise because if I kept waiting to buy new shoes my feet would probably begin to really bother me (which they already have been the past 2 weeks and I didn't even register that it could be from my shoes!). Plus, I don't race this upcoming weekend so this week will be the perfect opportunity for me to break in new shoes, even if they are the exact same model I've been running in!
I believe God planned that on purpose and it was truly a blessing. He's one smart guy :)
So tomorrow during my 3 hour break between classes I intend on getting new running shoes... and milk (and NOT at Walgreens this time!).
For now, goodnight! :) and God bless!!
LJ
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
More Modern Slavery
So today in my Modern Slavery class we were doing a brief overview of the history of slavery, but now we are getting into actual modern slavery.
Here's some things that literally made me gasp...
-There are approximately 27 million slaves in the world
-There are 50,000 slaves in the United States (the majority come from China, Mexico, and Vietnam)
-There are 15-20 million slaves in Southeast Asia (India, Pakistan, Nepal, etc.)
-The majority of slavery is agricultural (sugar, rice, etc); second is brick making and mining; third is war slaves (for example the children in Africa that are kidnapped from their homes and forced to kill each other in war); fourth is a mix of domestic and sex slavery
-The United States purchases the most slave-made products in the world (Coca-Cola being a huge one for sugar in Brazil).
Literally everything we have was probably slave-made. The slaves in Brazil that make the charcoal that is used to make our cars; the ones in Brazil and other countries that farm the sugar cane that is used in practically everything; slaves that sew our clothes; slaves that weave our cloth; slaves that make our carpets; slaves that make our phones; etc... It's appalling....
The average cost of a slave in the 1800's was equivalent to about $40,000-$80,000, bringing in only about 5% profit.
Nowadays, a slave, if even paid for at all, costs about $40-$200 on average (but sex slaves are often higher if they are younger and depending on the ethnicity) and bring in anywhere from 200-800% profit.
That's cheaper than an iPhone... People are being SOLD- their entire lives are being SOLD for less than what we paid for our phones. It disgusts me, it truly does.
The real question that we focused on answering was How on Earth can we stop slavery?! And there's really only one way- by having political will (making it less economically friendly), and by having the ability to protect the victims. I don't see this being very likely in my lifetime, but I hope that some day slavery can be completely stopped throughout the world.
I want to leave you with some websites that I have seen...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1554064/US-used-forced-labour-to-build-Iraq-embassy.html
The United States enslaving middle eastern folks to build the worlds largest Embassy in Baghdad...
http://www.crisisaid.org/ICAPDF/Trafficking/traffickstats.pdf
Slavery in America...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_Brazil
Slavery in Brazil
http://marketplace.publicradio.org/display/web/2006/05/26/the_cost_of_slavery/
A discussion on slavery with Kevin Bales (one of the most well-known and respected slavery researchers and authors in the world)
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/our-story
Invisible Children- the organization trying to stop the kidnapping of children in Africa for war.
It makes me so sad... it truly does.
I am just so blessed to have been born in America to such an amazing family and in the area I was born in. I feel so blessed as well to have had all of the opportunities I've had in my life as well as the ones to come. It's so crazy to think that kids in India literally work every single day all day and will never stop until the day they die. I am truly a blessed woman and I have to remember to never take that for granted. This world is so corrupt, but it's not hopeless...
LJ.
Here's some things that literally made me gasp...
-There are approximately 27 million slaves in the world
-There are 50,000 slaves in the United States (the majority come from China, Mexico, and Vietnam)
-There are 15-20 million slaves in Southeast Asia (India, Pakistan, Nepal, etc.)
-The majority of slavery is agricultural (sugar, rice, etc); second is brick making and mining; third is war slaves (for example the children in Africa that are kidnapped from their homes and forced to kill each other in war); fourth is a mix of domestic and sex slavery
-The United States purchases the most slave-made products in the world (Coca-Cola being a huge one for sugar in Brazil).
Literally everything we have was probably slave-made. The slaves in Brazil that make the charcoal that is used to make our cars; the ones in Brazil and other countries that farm the sugar cane that is used in practically everything; slaves that sew our clothes; slaves that weave our cloth; slaves that make our carpets; slaves that make our phones; etc... It's appalling....
The average cost of a slave in the 1800's was equivalent to about $40,000-$80,000, bringing in only about 5% profit.
Nowadays, a slave, if even paid for at all, costs about $40-$200 on average (but sex slaves are often higher if they are younger and depending on the ethnicity) and bring in anywhere from 200-800% profit.
That's cheaper than an iPhone... People are being SOLD- their entire lives are being SOLD for less than what we paid for our phones. It disgusts me, it truly does.
The real question that we focused on answering was How on Earth can we stop slavery?! And there's really only one way- by having political will (making it less economically friendly), and by having the ability to protect the victims. I don't see this being very likely in my lifetime, but I hope that some day slavery can be completely stopped throughout the world.
I want to leave you with some websites that I have seen...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1554064/US-used-forced-labour-to-build-Iraq-embassy.html
The United States enslaving middle eastern folks to build the worlds largest Embassy in Baghdad...
http://www.crisisaid.org/ICAPDF/Trafficking/traffickstats.pdf
Slavery in America...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_Brazil
Slavery in Brazil
http://marketplace.publicradio.org/display/web/2006/05/26/the_cost_of_slavery/
A discussion on slavery with Kevin Bales (one of the most well-known and respected slavery researchers and authors in the world)
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/our-story
Invisible Children- the organization trying to stop the kidnapping of children in Africa for war.
It makes me so sad... it truly does.
I am just so blessed to have been born in America to such an amazing family and in the area I was born in. I feel so blessed as well to have had all of the opportunities I've had in my life as well as the ones to come. It's so crazy to think that kids in India literally work every single day all day and will never stop until the day they die. I am truly a blessed woman and I have to remember to never take that for granted. This world is so corrupt, but it's not hopeless...
LJ.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Deja Vu
This weekend was Labor Day weekend (and no, I will not stop wearing white, sorry!), and I went home!!
Every time I've ever come to Stephens prior to this school year, I've always had to pack up my stuff from home and bring it with me, stay for a little while, then come home. But this time it was opposite... I packed up my stuff from here and took it home with me. That was the strangest feeling, it really was. As I was leaving, I looked back at Stephens and it truly felt like I was leaving home, but that I was also going home. It was some sort of weird deja vu feeling honestly.
But, the weekend was fantastic :) It was great to see my family and of course, Jordan, and it was great to celebrate Nino's (Matt) 50th birthday with everyone! It was also great bringing back the leftover cake (its gone over well with my friends!), YUMMY! I love funfetti :)
But after going home and coming back, Stephens began to feel more "homey" to me, everything was more recognizable and routine and regular, I didn't feel quite as "new" (or like summer camp anymore!).
Today I joined a Stephens organization called S.O.S. which is a community service group and we do service projects once a month! I'd almost like to do more than that, but I know with my busy schedule that will be plenty! I'm very excited about that, and I'm really looking forward to being able to get out in the community and serve.
I've also started to join the group C.R.U. which is a Christian organization. We are planning to do a Bible study once a week and on Thursdays we go meet with MU's C.R.U. for a meeting! (but I don't know what we talk about because I haven't been yet!).
It's finally cooled off in our room, which is great... though the allergies are as bad as ever. But it sure is a lot nicer to have allergies and a cool room than allergies and a hot room! Hopefully we'll have a good frost soon and kill out that ragweed and strong pollen. I'm sure we will :)
The Lord has blessed me, that's for sure. I'm so thankful that I get to be a part of SOS and CRU... these are the kind of groups I know I will belong in and find that I fit in and I just know I'll have a lot of fun :)
I'm also very thankful that Kramer, Stephanie, Emily and I have all been getting along so well! It's great to have immediately clicked with such amazing girls and to have strong relationships that I truly value. Not to mention all of the other friends I have made :)
I'm really looking forward to our first XC meet this Friday! I can't believe it's already here! It's crazy to think this is my FIFTH time running this course. I think that I will do well, and so will the team! We've all been training hard and I know we are ready. GO STARS!
Well, that's about all I have to say for now!
Much love!!!
LJ
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Class
This was originally written mostly on Tuesday so keep in mind that when I am talking about my classes, they were on Tuesday. DISCLAIMER: this post is kind of sad (not about me, but about my classes). I'm sorry about that!
Wow, so today (written on Tuesday) in my first two classes we had some majorly....um... intense? topics. In my honors seminar class, our first paper is to be about the use of sex as a symbol. Well, we watched a movie called Killing Us Softly (4) and it showed me some things about advertisements that you wouldn't believe. For instance, you know when you see an ad with an impossibly beautiful, thin girl with perfect hair and perfect eyes and a perfect smile and a perfect nose?? Yeah, she's not real. They literally take pictures of 4 different girls and use whomever's body they like the most (let's say girl #1) and blur out her face, take eyes from girl #2 and put them on girl #1's face, take the nose from girl #3 and put it on girl #1's face, and take the smile from girl #4 and put it on girl #1's face. This girl literally does not exist.
Another thing you wouldn't believe... you know how in ads all of a sudden a woman who normally isn't very busty, or one who has a few little wrinkles, or one who has got a little tummy on her is all of a sudden perfectly proportional and flawless looking? Yeah, it's fake.
Sex has become the ultimate marketing material. They make women's bodies into objects to appeal to men- why do you think men are degrading women more and more?! In ads with a man and a woman, the woman is always being hovered over or controlled while the man looks big and strong and powerful. Men are being encouraged to inflict violence and power on women. They have shirts for little boys that say "Daddy's little bruiser". Women are being dressed (and made to look) like little girls, vulnerable and innocent, but put in unnaturally sexy and racy positions...little girls are wearing make up and 2 year olds have high heels and skinny jeans and thong bikinis and bra padding... IT IS MESSED UP. 1/3 of all women murdered are murdered by their male partner/husband. Yeah. Girls who see advertisements where women are being degraded and look unnaturally beautiful before the age of 13 are 114% more likely to have severe depression or an eating disorder. Americans see 3,000+ advertisements EVERY DAY. It's incredible how deceitful and tricky the people who make these advertisements really are.
After this class I went right to Modern Slavery where we watched a documentary on sugar mill slavery in Brazil. Literally almost every single native of Brazil is enslaved working at the sugar mills. They get paid pretty much nothing (about $4.50 for every ton of sugar crop cut-but here's the thing... it never gets weighed. "The Boss" decides if you get paid or not and how much). In the winter the employees are paid with vouchers to the sugar mill owner's market to buy food- and no, they don't get any change.
It's amazing how different every area of the world is...but how in the end it's all just corrupted and messed up. I am just so thankful that the world of "fashion" hasn't made me lose sight of who I am (we are clearly know that I eat plenty and I am a happy person!)... it just makes me so sad that there are so many women out there who think they are failures because they don't have a certain genetic body type or they don't look like the FAKE people in magazines. Oh, and yeah, the super emaciated models.... guess why they have to be so skinny? When the clothing manufacturers send the clothes for a shoot or a fashion show, they are almost always size 00... and if you don't fit in it you're fired and they'll get someone else who can fit in it. It's so completely insane. I just can't believe it.
So yeah, that's my little schpeel about all of that.
It has been really hot here in CoMo, and without AC it's miserable. But it looks like I may be able to crash in a friends room tonight who has AC! Thank goodness for that! Then I get to come home (YAY!)! Ready to start the weekend and see everyone!
Much love.... Sorry if this blog was depressing!
LJ
Wow, so today (written on Tuesday) in my first two classes we had some majorly....um... intense? topics. In my honors seminar class, our first paper is to be about the use of sex as a symbol. Well, we watched a movie called Killing Us Softly (4) and it showed me some things about advertisements that you wouldn't believe. For instance, you know when you see an ad with an impossibly beautiful, thin girl with perfect hair and perfect eyes and a perfect smile and a perfect nose?? Yeah, she's not real. They literally take pictures of 4 different girls and use whomever's body they like the most (let's say girl #1) and blur out her face, take eyes from girl #2 and put them on girl #1's face, take the nose from girl #3 and put it on girl #1's face, and take the smile from girl #4 and put it on girl #1's face. This girl literally does not exist.
Another thing you wouldn't believe... you know how in ads all of a sudden a woman who normally isn't very busty, or one who has a few little wrinkles, or one who has got a little tummy on her is all of a sudden perfectly proportional and flawless looking? Yeah, it's fake.
Sex has become the ultimate marketing material. They make women's bodies into objects to appeal to men- why do you think men are degrading women more and more?! In ads with a man and a woman, the woman is always being hovered over or controlled while the man looks big and strong and powerful. Men are being encouraged to inflict violence and power on women. They have shirts for little boys that say "Daddy's little bruiser". Women are being dressed (and made to look) like little girls, vulnerable and innocent, but put in unnaturally sexy and racy positions...little girls are wearing make up and 2 year olds have high heels and skinny jeans and thong bikinis and bra padding... IT IS MESSED UP. 1/3 of all women murdered are murdered by their male partner/husband. Yeah. Girls who see advertisements where women are being degraded and look unnaturally beautiful before the age of 13 are 114% more likely to have severe depression or an eating disorder. Americans see 3,000+ advertisements EVERY DAY. It's incredible how deceitful and tricky the people who make these advertisements really are.
After this class I went right to Modern Slavery where we watched a documentary on sugar mill slavery in Brazil. Literally almost every single native of Brazil is enslaved working at the sugar mills. They get paid pretty much nothing (about $4.50 for every ton of sugar crop cut-but here's the thing... it never gets weighed. "The Boss" decides if you get paid or not and how much). In the winter the employees are paid with vouchers to the sugar mill owner's market to buy food- and no, they don't get any change.
It's amazing how different every area of the world is...but how in the end it's all just corrupted and messed up. I am just so thankful that the world of "fashion" hasn't made me lose sight of who I am (we are clearly know that I eat plenty and I am a happy person!)... it just makes me so sad that there are so many women out there who think they are failures because they don't have a certain genetic body type or they don't look like the FAKE people in magazines. Oh, and yeah, the super emaciated models.... guess why they have to be so skinny? When the clothing manufacturers send the clothes for a shoot or a fashion show, they are almost always size 00... and if you don't fit in it you're fired and they'll get someone else who can fit in it. It's so completely insane. I just can't believe it.
So yeah, that's my little schpeel about all of that.
It has been really hot here in CoMo, and without AC it's miserable. But it looks like I may be able to crash in a friends room tonight who has AC! Thank goodness for that! Then I get to come home (YAY!)! Ready to start the weekend and see everyone!
Much love.... Sorry if this blog was depressing!
LJ
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